


Goodness Knows

by herotoon



Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Trans Character, Wicked AU, and they were roommates!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-10-06 10:32:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17343695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herotoon/pseuds/herotoon
Summary: When he was a baby, they thought he was just pale, or anemic. Grey eyes and black hair and pale, pale skin. Doctors searched and searched for a cause, but they found nothing. He was perfectly healthy, and perfectly grey.(it's a noirham college au i really dont know what else to tell you)





	1. There's Been Some Confusion Over Rooming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so for this au theyre all kinda the same age? like instead of peni being 13 like she is in the movie she's around 17, Peter B is 28, gwen, ganke, and miles are 20, ham and noir are both 23. they're all in college is what i'm saying.  
> (note: i have standards and morals, and wont be using that as an excuse to ship adult/minor characters or put them in weird situations. its just for fun!!)
> 
> miles, noir, and gwen are trans and ham is nb in this, also!
> 
> this was also inspired by this post here  
> https://theglowingsea.tumblr.com/post/181752687636/what-if-hamnoir-wicked-au-i-dont-want-to-think  
> op's art is AMAZING please go check it out!!
> 
> final note/disclaimer: im stupid and dont know anything about anything, please take everything about college, dorms, etc at face value because I Don't Know A Thing About Anything. ive only read like, 2 spiderman comics in my whole life. this is for funsies !! im going to have fun with it ! 
> 
> i dont know how long this is gonna be or if im gonna end up finishing it but i may!! i'll try to update it pretty often! also it hasnt been beta-read so if theres a typo or an inconsistency just... disregard it. its fine

_ When he was a baby, they thought he was just pale, or anemic. Grey eyes and black hair and pale, paper white skin. Doctors searched and searched for a cause, but they found nothing. He was perfectly healthy, and perfectly grey. _

_ They thought he would grow out of it, but he didn’t. He wore grey clothes and black jackets and big, circle frame glasses, as he got older, keeping the same look. Wearing bright colors made the rest of him seem even more out of place, and made him feel worse. It was just a painful reminder of how different he was, and he hated it. _

_ Kids at school always looked at him weird. They didn’t talk to him, but they talked about him. _

_ “I heard someone say he’s contagious. Don't stay around him too long, or you’ll end up grey too!” _

_ “I heard another person say he drinks ink like a vampire drinks blood!” _

_ “I heard a third say that he can climb the walls like a spider!” _

_ He never argued with any of these accusations, and he never spoke against them. He learned there was no point, people would say what they would. _

_ He grew to resent color as a concept. He blocked it out, wearing dark sunglasses and covering his eyes and his face and as much of himself as he possibly could, just to avoid questions. He refused to think about it.  _

_ (It was harder than it looked.) _

_ Then his parents died, and he stopped talking almost at all. He only spoke to one person- his neighbor, Mary Jane. But she didn’t like being seen with him in public. _

_ “Imagine what people would think,” she told him, “seeing us together. I want to be seen as something other than ‘the friend of the greyscale kid’!” _

_ He never argued with her, because she was his only friend. He didn’t want to lose her.  _

_ Her parents took him in when nobody else would, and she was like a big sister to him. He was never without her, and she was never without him. _

_ So when they went off to college- him on scholarship and her on admission- she insisted they get separate rooms even though they were staying in co-ed dorms.  _

_ “We’ve been joined at the hip since grade school- you need to branch out more!” _

_ He never argued with her. _

-

It was a lot bigger than he expected, originally, and it was making him nervous. He got snippy when he was nervous. He was left running as fast as possible with his duffle bag of belongings strung across his back, more than half the weight of it being school books. He didn’t bring much with him, but he didn’t have much to begin with.

When he stood outside the doors, he stared up at them. 

He turned to look at Mary Jane. 

“You can go in first, I’ll wait out here for a minute so people don’t ask questions.”

She smiled and hugged him before running inside, her suitcases rolling behind her.

This school was for  _ gifted _ kids, really. People with unique abilities- sometimes mutants, sometimes prodigies. Mary Jane was a prodigy. She loved science in all aspects, especially mechanics. 

He got here on his own, through his writing. He filled his time with studying, and ignoring the strange-ness of himself and his being, because if it weren’t enough that he looked like a printer ran out of ink, he was a  _ mutant _ . 

Mary Jane was the only one who knew, aside from a few rumors that got spread after he got caught stuck to the wall and having a panic attack back in grade school. He was strange enough as it was, he didn’t want it to be worse. He couldn’t handle having  _ two _ broken, freakish things about him. That was simply too much.

But he got here, on his own, from his essays and his good grades and not because he was a freak. 

When he opened the doors, he had almost forgotten to expect the staring. A hush fell over the students, a few pointing fingers, more by the second, until it felt like he was on a stage. 

He gave them the show they wanted.

“Okay,” he grumbled, facing the crowd. “Let’s get this over with. No, I’m not a ghost. Yes, I was born gray. No, I’m not sick, and I do not drink ink. All clear?”

A few kids nodded, some hushed murmurs exchanged between them.

He stayed towards the back of the room, sitting against the wall, pulling out one of his journals and trying to note things down that he picked up from the voices in the crowd. It helped him calm down- focusing on one voice at a time and following their words. 

There was one voice, in the crowd, that made the back of his head itch. Like something was about to happen- the same feeling he got before bad news was delivered, or before someone was about to get hurt. 

Whenever he looked up, it got exponentially worse, but he couldn’t pick out the source- until someone sat next to him.

“Hi.”

He shut his book, examining the man who had decided to get so close. He was gangly, his hair was a mess, and he was  _ not _ in uniform, stained sweatpants and a hoodie being all he had aside from a drawstring backpack and a single suitcase. He looked… Greasy.

The buzzing in his head spiked.

“Hi,” he replied, raising his hand a little bit in greeting. The man smiled. 

“They’re about to start calling names for our dorm room numbers if you wanna go on up there with me. You probably uh, won’t be able to hear from back here.”

He stayed quiet, closing his journal and shoving it down into his duffle bag, dusting off his pants as he stood. The man who sat next to him scrambled to stand.

“So is the color thing a mutation, or…?”

He ignored him.

They started calling names, going alphabetically by first name. Mary Jane was paired with someone named Miles, but the boy stopped the woman announcing the rooms. “Actually, I’m sharing a room with Ganke Lee- we tried to have it set up earlier but they said we had to wait until they announced rooms to switch.”

The kid in question walked up with his assigned roommate, a girl with icy white hair and an eyebrow piercing. 

The buzz in his head got even stronger.

He gripped his sleeves while they sorted it out, switching so Mary Jane and Gwen shared a room while the two boys were paired together.

Finally, finally, they got to the P’s.

“Peter Parker?”

“That’s me.” “Here!” “It’s  _ Porker _ , actually!”

He froze. 

Everyone froze. 

“Uh.”

The one who had sat next to him earlier, he was raising his hand, as well as someone who he couldn’t make out in the crowd- just the rolling of suitcase wheels approaching and the sound of “ _ Excuse me, pardon me, coming through-! _ ” echoing throughout the room as people quickly stepped out of the way of the person approaching.

The suitcases were pushed into the middle of the room and up hopped the apparent Peter Porker, standing on the suitcase as it slowly rolled to a stop. 

Well, he certainly was a pig. Talking animals weren’t exactly uncommon, but they weren’t exactly commonplace either. It was like seeing someone with a neon hair color or a weird birthmark.

He had on a technicolor green sweater and bright blue gym shoes, and every one of his suitcases was in a different hue. Everything about him was bright and shiny and  _ colorful _ .

Oh, boy.

The woman read over her “We do have three Peters, don’t we? Well, we  _ are _ overbooked this year. Which of you is… Peter Ben Parker? Taking photography?”

The greasy man who sat next to him earlier raised his hand. “That’d be me.”

“Your roommate isn’t here yet, but,” the woman rambled, writing down Peter’s room number and handing it to him, explaining that once his roommate arrived they’d send him down. Peter B gave a quick wave and dashed off, high-fiving a few people on his way out. He seemed popular, or at least charismatic.

She turned to the two remaining Peters.

The pig spoke up, leaning on the suitcase handle with an air of confidence that only a performer would have. “Please, call me Ham. All my friends do. And I should have a solo suite- that’s what was requested.”

“Me too,” he said, and Ham turned to look at him, taking a double take at the lack of colors. 

_ Buzz buzz. _

He noticed the murmurs of people around him, the quiet  _ that’s him _ ’s and the  _ he’s going to school here _ ’s and the  _ wasn’t he on tv _ ’s. All the noise combined with that incessant buzzing in the back of his head that would not go away. It just kept getting  _ worse _ .

The woman hummed. “Sorry, we’re overbooked this year. All the solo suites have been changed to doubles. You two will have to share a room.”

He shrugged. Ham seemed scandalized. 

“NO, no, if I’m sharing a room where am I supposed to invite my friends? Where are we supposed to have slumber parties and dance and all that jazz? You can’t do this!”

Was the room spinning? His chest felt tight. The buzzing in his head was so loud-

When he let go of his book, it didn’t clatter to the ground.

It stuck

_ Oh, God, not now, please- _

He tried to pull it off, but nothing was  _ working _ and his heart was pounding and oh, god were they staring? They were staring, they had to be, no no  _ no- _

The book  _ finally _ came off, but it was too fast, it went flying towards the teacher giving their room assignments and without thinking he felt the  _ thwp _ of web shooting from his wrist and yanking it back to him before it could cause any harm.

To anyone but himself, that is.

_ Everyone  _ was looking now. There was nowhere to go and everyone was looking.

“I’m sorry,” he was panicking, he could tell, but everything was too loud and too quiet and- "Normally I can control it, I promise it won't happen again."

“That was  _ spectacular _ !”

What?

He blinked in shock, trying to slow his breathing, to calm his heartbeat.

“You weren’t marked as having any mutant powers on your transcripts, were you? What are you majoring in, young man?” the woman asked, flipping through her papers.

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Criminal psychology and investigative journalism, ma’am,” he spoke, fighting with every ounce of his willpower not to stutter or start crying. This was supposed to be a secret, nobody was supposed to  _ know _ ! 

Now  _ everyone _ knew. 

“Do you think you have time in your schedule for an extra curricular? I run a program for mutants with powers like yours. It’d look  _ great _ on your resume! And your roommate is already a part of it!”

He couldn’t hear her at all over the sound of his own heartbeat. He felt like he was going to faint.

“Okay.”

“Wonderful! I’ll be seeing you every thursday after your main classes, then! Here’s your room number.”

Something was thrust into his hands and he was turned around, led by the edge of his trenchcoat.


	2. How You'd Want Me To Respond

It was only when he stepped outside the hall that he stopped dissociating, everything coming back to him all at once as he was tugged merrily along.

“Hey, buddy. Helloooooo? You still in there?”

A pink hand waved in front of his face and he blinked, shaking his head. “Yes?”

“Can ya help me carry my bags? They’ve all got wheels and you’ve just got the one bag and uh, it doesn't look like you need hands for it. Strap and all.”

Noir shook off the post-panic fog in his head. “Oh,” he said, taking the handle of a bag in each hand while Ham climbed on top of one, riding on the top of it and pushing it along with his foot. 

“Don’t talk much, do ya?”

“Not much to say.”

Ham’s suitcase rolled to a stop in front of him. “Say, if we’re both named Peter, I’ve gotta come up with a nickname for ya. Feels weird sayin’ my own name to address someone else. Tell me about yourself. You said you’re majoring in what, crime novels?”

“Criminal psychology and investigative journaling.”

“Yeah, yeah, that! What do you wanna do with that?”

He wasn’t used to this kind of prodding into his motives and personal life. He kind of locked up at it, thankful for his glasses. They were mirrored, keeping his secrets in.

“I’d like to be a private investigator.”

“So what, some kinda dark and brooding noir detective?” Ham snapped his fingers, pointing up at him. “That’s it! I’m callin’ you Noir.”

“Noir?”

“Yeah! Like those old movies! Tall dark fellas solving crimes and takin’ names and kickin’ butt,” Ham grinned, hopping up on top of one of the suitcases Noir was carrying and throwing a few punches in the air, then mimicking gunshots.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at that, covering his smile with his hand. Ham looked up at him like he had just won the lottery.  “What?”

“I got you to laugh!”

“No, you didn’t,” He collected himself, biting his bottom lip and looking at the ground as he walked.

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did not!”

“Did too- wait- hang on just a minute, now!”

Ham smacked his knee and laughed, loud and uninhibited. “Gotcha! Oh, I can’t remember the last time someone fell for that!  _ Classic _ !”

Noir huffed a little, pushing the suitcase Ham was sitting on with his foot. Ham kept laughing. “Are you wearing dress shoes?”

“They were part of the uniform.”

“Oh, wow, alright, first thing is nobody actually cares about the uniform. Except you, apparently,” he snorted, and Noir ignored the way his heart sped up.

“Our room should be in this next hall.”

After a few minutes of reading room numbers, they found theirs, and Peter B sitting on the ground outside his own room. He looked up as the two approached, giving a bright smile. “Oh, hey, its my twins!” 

“Hiya!” Ham grinned, hopping off the suitcase. “Why aren’t you hangin’ out in your room?”

Peter B scratched the back of his neck, looking down at his shoes.

“Oh, y’know, just waiting to see who my neighbors are, all that.”

“He locked himself out,” Noir stated, hands in his pockets. 

The others turned to look at him. Peter B pouted. “Okay, so,  _ maybe  _ I thought I had my house key, but I had actually grabbed my car key instead. So what? It could’ve happened to anyone.”

Ham snorted again and patted Peter B’s arm. “Nice detective work there, Holmes.”

“Thanks,” Noir smiled to himself. It was the first genuine compliment he had gotten in a long time, and it felt  _ good. _

Peter B sighed. “I really wanted to get my phone out of my bag but I’ve gotta wait for my roommate to unlock the door, now.”

“Anyone got a lock pick?” Ham asked, joking.

Noir sat down, shuffling through his bag before pulling out a lock picking kit, completely serious. He fiddled with the lock, trying a few times until the lock clicked and the door opened. Noir turned around and noticed the other two were staring at him.

“What?”

All three of them flinched and turned around to see a girl standing there with a suitcase, clapping softly. She had short black hair and was wearing the school uniform, which made Noir a little more confident. He shot a look to Ham, who mumbled “ _ Fine,  _ one  _ other person wears the uniform, _ ” under his breath.

“That was amazing! I’ve never seen somebody pick a lock that fast before! A little worrying, since we’re neighbors, but I’ll let it slide this time.”

Peter B perked up. 

“You must be Peni! I’m Peter!”

They shook hands and went to unpack, shutting the door, leaving Ham and Noir outside their own dorm in silence. They merely stared at the door for a few seconds.

Ham leaned back on one of the suitcases. “You gonna pick the lock on this one, too?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” he seemed to flinch as he responded. Noir unhooked the key from his lanyard and unlocked the door, not noticing the concerned look Ham gave him as he apologized.

The room was blank and empty, just two beds on opposite sides of the room, a big dresser in between them. Noir flicked on the light and frowned to see that it was dim and flickering. The window didn’t provide much light, either.

Ham yanked the rest of his bags inside, plopping them all onto the bed on the right side of the room and starting to unzip one of them. Noir wasn’t sure what to expect from all the bags, but one of them should  _ not _ have been able to hold as much stuff as it did. 

Ham pulled out a mini fridge, two desk lamps, an entire backpack, and- was that another desk?

Noir tried to shrug it off, unpacking the few outfits he had and putting them into the dresser, placing his books on top and his journals under the bed. 

“Is that really all you brought?” Ham said, looking into the drawer.

Noir shrugged. “It’s all I needed.”

“What about fancy clothes? Snacks? Fun stuff?” Ham said as he stuck his head further into the drawer, rooting around and only finding the school uniforms. “Anything?”

Noir just shrugged. “I’m not here to have fun.”

“ _ WHAT?! _ ”

Ham jumped and hit his head on the top of the drawer, whipping his head around to look at Noir, who was pretending to not have noticed his outburst by doodling in the margins of his journal.

Ham scrambled up the side of the bed, pointing accusingly at Noir. “If you’re not here to have fun then  _ why _ are you here?”

“To learn? And get off my bed, you’re wearing shoes.”

Ham jumped up on top of their dresser, climbing onto his own bed and bouncing on the mattress as he continued to talk. 

“You know you’ll make yourself sick if you just work all the time and don’t do anything fun. I’m going to a party later this week, you should come!”

“...I don’t… I don’t go to parties. I won’t have any friends that’ll be there- and you don’t count.”

“What a sad, sad life you must live! That’s changing this saturday, I am taking you to that party one way or another, mister!”

“It’s not changing.”

“Care to make a bet about it?”

Noir looked up from his journal. “A bet?”

“Yeah! If you don’t have any friends willing to go with you by the end of the week, I’ll buy you dinner. If you find someone who’s willing to go with you, other than myself of course, then you’ll both be coming as my plus one and two.”

“...Fine. But there’s no way you’ll win.”

Ham opened another suitcase and dug through it, pulling out a bright red dress. “We’ll see, we’ll see. I’m going to go out with some friends. You good to unpack on your own?”

Noir just shrugged. “Do what you want.”

Ham stuck his tongue out and stepped into the closet, only closing the door for a split second before stepping back out, in the dress now, and Noir didn’t want to say that he looked nice.

He did, but he didn’t want to say it.

Ham walked out and shut the door behind himself. 

There was talking coming from the room across the hall, carrying out of an open door.

“Geez, did you  _ really _ pack all your comics?”

“It’s my  _ collection _ , Miles! I can’t just leave something of this much value at home for anyone to mess with!”

Ham walked a little slower, peeking into the room. Might as well greet the new neighbors.   
“Well, hello there!”

The two kids paused and looked over at him. The one sitting on the desk gave a little wave. “Sup! I’m Miles, and that’s Ganke.”

Ganke waved the handful of comic books at him, not looking up from the pile on the floor in front of him as he organized them.  

“Call me Ham! I live across the hall. I’ve gotta head on out- just wanted to drop by and introduce myself!”

“Nice meeting you!”

* * *

 

Once Ham got to the little cafe, he was immediately rushed by his friends, all hugging and greeting him in kind. 

“Hammy!”

“Hey, Pete, what’s up?”

“Where’s your dorm? We have  _ got  _ to hang out soon!”

They all sat down in a blur of color and motion, letting Ham stand on the table and babble on about the dorm situation.

“And, get this,  _ two _ other guys raise their hands! One of ‘em looks like he just climbed out of a garbage can- like he hasn't slept in  _ months _ . Handsome, but in a rat kinda way, y’know?”

They all laughed and he basked in the swell of validation for a moment.

“At this point, I haven’t even noticed the other guy yet, which is surprising in hindsight. So the lady starts talking to the rat lookin’ Peter, and he goes running off. Then she looks at me and tells me I don’t have my own room anymore, which, first of all, a little heads up would have been  _ fantastic  _ on that.”

He paced across the table, miming out the actions with large arcs of his arms and complex gestures. 

“But then, from behind me the guys notebook goes  _ flying _ and at first I think this guy’s snapped! But then, and you’re never gonna believe this, he shoots a spiderweb out of his wrist and  _ yanks _ it back! Like some kinda yo-yo! And I stare for a minute, and I’m like oh, okay, he’s a mutant. But then I take a good look at him and I realize something!”

He pauses, looking over the group of people around him, at their approving gazes, their smiles. He loved performing, and this was exactly why.   
“This guy, he’s completely in black and white. He looks like if God ran out of printer ink when they made him! Like, he’s pretty okay looking under the  _ massive _ glasses and the dorky trench coat- that reminds me, he was wearing a long black trench coat and coke bottle glasses, and a black turtleneck. It’s important to me that you know that.”

They all listened as he talked and paced around the surface of the table, occasionally taking a drink of his shirley temple or pausing to eat a french fry.

“So, you really have to share a room with him?”

Ham shrugged, looking into his cup. “Eh, it’s no biggie. He’s quiet enough as it is. I think he just doesn’t know how to be around people, y’know? Poor soul seems so lonely.”

Sympathetic  _ aww _ ’s rounded the table. Ham decided to leave the lock picking incident out, wanting to play up Noir’s  _ misunderstood bad boy  _ side. 

“I actually made a bet that if he makes a new friend by the end of the week, he can go to the party with us!”

The crowd frowned and paused, unsure murmurs going through them. “Isn’t he, like, weird?”

“Is it as a joke?”

“Oh, that makes sense!”

“You’re pulling a prank! Right?”

Ham froze. He wanted to say no, he really did. But…

These were his friends. He couldn’t let them down.

“Yeah, yeah! I’m gonna get someone else in on it. You’ll see.”

They all laughed, and the pride he felt was bittersweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! if you enjoyed this, leave a comment!! seeing yalls comments means the WORLD to me! 
> 
> if you REALLY really liked it, maybe send me a dollar or two as a tip! more money means more coffee, which means faster updates!  
> https://www.paypal.me/CarinaMartin


	3. its the way you're viewed

Classes started the next day.

Noir left before Ham woke up and whenever Ham would get back to their dorm, Noir would find an excuse to leave, much to his dismay. The only time they shared the room was when curfew hit and they couldn’t leave, and by then Noir would be very caught up in pretending to sleep. Ham knew he was pretending, because he snored a little when he actually did sleep. It was almost... cute.

Ham snored when he slept, Noir noticed. The sound replaced the sound of busy streets he was used to and he wasn’t as anxious at night as he expected to be, but he still didn’t end up being able to sleep very much. He filled his free time with studying and reading to the point where, by Thursday afternoon, he hadn’t been able to do a single bit of writing. After class he sat down on his bed, got his journal out, and…

…

And he- no… Hmm…

…

Of _course_ , the moment he has a clear enough head to work his brain just stops. He had been sitting at various parts of the room for an hour and a half now at the least, and all he had written down was the word _‘cowboy’_ , which had absolutely no business being something he had written down. Why had he written that down, again? He crossed it out.

He looked up at the door from his spot on the bed, pulling his legs in towards his chest. Ham had been gone for a while.

He was so… strange. He was confident and loud and didn’t laugh or make fun of Noir, which was strange. He wore dresses, and smiled a lot. He had talked more to Ham in the last day than he had talked to anyone other than Mary Jane in… years.

He looked down at the page and realized he had been doodling his roommate in the margins of the notebook, full of life and energy.

The door opened and Noir looked up, hiding the front of his journal. Ham stared at him as he walked in. “You’re going in _that_?”

Noir sighed, leaning his head back against the pillow. “You _know_ I don’t have any other good clothes, Porker.”

“And _you_ know you’re allowed to raid my closet whenever you want! C’mon, you’ve been wearing that uniform the entire week! Live a little! Get crazy- wear a _t-shirt._ ”

Ham sauntered over to his closet and stepped inside, shutting the door behind himself. Noir watched as clanging and clattering noises and random puffs of smoke came from under the door until Ham emerged with a bundle of various clothes. He shoved them into Noir’s arms.

“Go get changed!”

Noir pouted. “‘Ey, these aren’t gonna fit me, they’re your size.”

Ham looked back at him. “I’m a toon, sunshine, they’re whatever size they need to be.”

Noir frowned harder. The clothes were still mostly in black and white, which he was thankful for. A white t shirt and a pair of grey-black jeans.

“Isn’t this too… casual?”

“You dress for class like you’re going to a stranger's funeral! No, no, you look like you’re running for sheriff of the town from Footloose!”

“The town from what?”

Ham froze and stared at him, opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish in absolute horror. “I- I have to ask, did they just leave you locked in a room with nothing but Sherlock Holmes books, black coffee, and saltine crackers for your entire life until last week? Have you _ever_ seen a movie?”

“I have too seen movies!”

“I dare you to name _one_. It can’t be a documentary, or something without jokes.”

“...I don’t have time for this.”

Ham gave him a _look_. “That settles it, once I win that bet, we’re having a movie night.”

“You won’t win,” Noir rolled his eyes, going into the bathroom and closing the door.

Surprisingly the clothes _did_ fit. Fairly well, actually.  

He looked at himself in the mirror, his glasses still on the counter, and realized without his sweater he didn’t have an excuse to hide his hands.

He had… some bad habits.

Habits he wasn’t proud of, but that he always found himself doing. Lighting matches and watching them burn down, til the little burst of gold light singed his fingertips and he blew them out.

He was thankful to find that the jeans had pockets, so he opened the bathroom door and quickly shoved his hands into them. “Can I still wear my jacket, or-...”

His journal laid open on the bed, and Ham was not so casually leaning over and looking at the pages. Ham looked up and little exclamation marks popped up over his head.

Ham just stared at him with an unreadable look in his eyes and Noir squinted, sticking his hands deeper in his pockets.

“What?”

Ham whistled. “ _Wow!_ You've been holdin' out on me, handsome!”

" _Excuse_ me?"

Noir just squinted harder and Ham ran up, dragging him out by the front of his shirt and sitting him down on the bed. “Hold still for a second.”

Ham climbed up on his lap and Noir felt his heart pick up. Oh, okay. Ham _then_ started running his hands through his hair, messing it up, and his face was _so close_ , OKAY, Noir felt very dizzy all of a sudden and he realized all at once that this was the first time someone had touched him on purpose since… Well, since the last time he could remember, actually, which was quite concerning.

He didn’t even have his _glasses_ on. His first line of security keeping his emotions under wraps was in the other room and he was here now, completely defenseless.

Dandy. Swell. Excellent.

By the time Ham pulled his hands back he was positive he looked like he had a sunburn, dark grey blood rushing to his face and ears. He felt like he was going to faint, like some kinda damsel.

Ham swiftly unbuttoned the top button on Noir’s shirt and straighten the collar, which was enough to make his brain stop working again. Lord.

Ham didn’t comment on how hard he was blushing, thank god. If he had, Noir might have just gone into a coma on the spot. Instead, Ham hopped off the bed and ran over to grab Noir’s jacket again, holding it up for him. “Put this on, quick. How well can you see without your glasses?”

“Hardly at all,” he said as he took the dark fabric. Then, the worst of the worst happened. Ham grabbed his wrist, lightly, carefully, and winced.

“What happened to your hands?”

Shit. Shit, shit shit shit shit.

“Nothing,” Noir all but snapped, yanking his arm back and hiding his hands in the jacket’s fabric. Ham frowned, but shrugged it off, much to Noir’s relief. He pulled the jacket on, then his gloves. He felt a lot less naked now, even without his glasses.

He looked up at Ham to see him laying down on his stomach, head in his hands, kicking his legs. Did he have _hearts_ in his eyes? Noir couldn’t tell- everything was blurry.

“Can we go?”

Ham blinked and rolled off the bed. “Yeah, yeah.”

Noir went back into the bathroom to grab his glasses, stopping to look at his reflection once he had them on. His hair was a bit messy, but he didn’t… he didn’t look _bad._

He never really thought much about how he looked, with the scars on his cheeks and the lack of color, well, _everywhere._ But he looked nice, and it was enough of a change where he didn’t recognize the person in the mirror.

He pushed his glasses up further on his face and stuffed his hands in his pockets, shutting the door behind himself.

-

They headed down to the room where they were supposed to be meeting. The room was mostly empty, other than 3 kids all sitting on desks. Ham recognized two of them as their across-the-hall neighbors, but the third, a blonde girl, he didn’t recognize.

But _she_ recognized _him_.

“Hey, aren’t you that guy from TV?”

Everyone turned to stare at him. Ham just smiled. “I sure am! Peter Porker, at your service- you can call me Ham! Pleasure to meet ya!”

“Cool. I’m Gwen,” she gave a nod.

Ham shook her hand and Noir just stood awkwardly in the door, not quite sure what to do. Miles made eye contact and he froze like a deer in the headlights. Oh, god, he was gonna have to interact with people, huh? Okay.

“Hi. Call me Noir,” he nodded at them and everyone waved back, sparse greetings being thrown his way. Nice. He went to go sit next to Ham. “You’re on TV?”

Gwen gave him a _look_ and Ham waved his hand dismissively. “Tall dark and handsome here’s never seen any movies or TV shows or anythin’. I plan on fixing that.”

The door burst open behind them and to Noir’s surprise, Peni and Peter B stood panting in the doorway, leaning on each other.

“Sorry we’re late! Peter said he was setting an alarm, but-”  
“I _did_ set an alarm, it’s not my fault my phone died!”

"You don’t ever charge it up!”

They stepped in, still bickering back and forth, and a teacher followed in behind them. “Is everyone here? Good,” she finished without waiting for an answer. “My name’s May. This is going to be a safe place for all of you to talk about your experiences with your powers. I also ordered a pizza, so, that’s on the way.”

Everyone but Noir cheered.

“So, let’s start with introductions. You might want these,” May smiled, spreading a handful of _hello, my name is_ cards on the table.

Gwen got up first, sitting on the table at the front of the room. She put her elbows on her knees, taking up a fair bit of space, still seeming elegant, as though every move was precalculated. “My name’s Gwen Stacy, this is my first year here. I uh… I play drums and do ballet.”

She glanced back at May to see if she could go, and May gave her a nod. The group gave some sparse greetings.

“Hi! I’m Peni, I’m 17, and-”

“Hang on, you’re _how_ old? Aren’t you in my advanced engineering class?” Miles announced, tilting his head. Peni looked… tired. Like she had answered this question a million and one times, which she probably had.

“I graduated early, and took all my basic classes ahead of time so I can focus on my robotics.”

May lifted her coffee cup. “Is there anyone else you’d like to introduce?”

Peter B smiled, as if he knew what was about to happen.

Peni shifted and looked out at everyone before setting her backpack down and opening up a part of it. She said some stuff that was too quiet to make out, then stood back up.

A massive red spider sat calmly on her hand for a moment, before crawling up her arm and onto her shoulder, perching there like it was made for it.

The rest of the people in the room ooh’d and aah’d. Peni brightened, relieved nobody panicked or tried to hurt her friend.

“When I was younger, this little guy bit me. Now we… kinda have a psychic link? It knows me better than anyone else,” she smiled as the spider crawled up onto the top of her head, nuzzling against her cheek. “Is it alright if he stays out for the rest of the meeting? I hate keeping him locked up all day. He’s a huge sweetheart, I promise!”

Everyone agreed, and she sat back down next to Noir. He looked at the spider, closer, observing its patterns and the fine hairs along its back. It was entirely red, its dark eyes staring at him, like it knew something he didn’t.

“Do you wanna hold it?”

Noir blinked. Peni was talking to him, probably because he was staring. “Uh, sure.”

He held his hand out and she grinned, watching the spider climb across his hands. It felt like velvet, with the tiniest little pinpricks at the ends of its legs, gripping him for traction.

He smiled. “Aw…”

He didn’t notice Ham staring up at him like he had won the lottery.

Miles stood up, hands in his pockets and his shoulders drawn in. “Hi, I’m Miles and I’m taking classes for painting and chemistry. And… I have spider powers too, funny enough.”

“Same,” Gwen said, raising her hand a little. They high fived, leaning on each other for a moment with a smile. Miles had this sparkle in his eyes that held Noir’s attention just long enough for the spider in his hands to crawl back to Peni, along her sleeve and onto her shoulder again.

The kid in the beanie and glasses spoke up. “I’m Ganke, I’m here for moral support. And I brought a deck of Uno cards.”

May smiled warmly. “Well, you’re welcome to stay with us as long as you like.”

“Thanks, miss!”

“Alright, who’s next?”

Ham stood up, dusting himself off. “Well, I’m Peter, but you all can call me Ham!” He winked. “Since we’re all apparently kids with spider powers these days, might as well admit that I also have spider-related powers.”

Noir looked up. “What?”

Ham shrugged. “Yeah! I can do this!”

And then Ham proceeded to hop off the table, walk towards the wall, and walk up the side of it. Noir felt faint.

“You’re... like me?”

Ham shrugged, walking further, onto the ceiling. “Well, sure! Why else would I have roomed with you so easily? We’ve gotta _stick_ together, so to speak.” He was right over Noir’s head now, looking down at him.

“You could have mentioned it sooner.”

Peter B laughed. “Peni didn’t mention the giant pet spider thing until like, last night, so that was fun. Especially considering uh…” He held out his wrist and some web shot out, latching onto a water bottle a few desks in front of him and yanking it back. “Yeah. Hi, I’m Peter B, as everyone seems to have taken to calling me.”

“Wait, do we all have spider powers?”

“Everyone except Ganke, seems like.”

Ganke wrapped an arm around Miles. “My spider power is being an inter _web_ expert.”

Ham barked out a laugh and jumped up. Well, jumped down, not realizing for a moment. He hovered in the air for a while before looking down and falling right into Noir’s arms.

Noir froze, staring down at him. “Uh… Hi.”

Ham looked up at him, and their eyes met for what seemed like far too long to be normal.

Then Ham blinked, and got a look on his face that Noir decided he did not like one bit. “Hey, Noir,” Ham smirked. He raised his voice a bit. “Do you still not wanna go to the party tomorrow night?”

Peter B looked up. “There’s a party?”

“Yep! Free food and everything.”

Noir realized what he was doing. Damnit.

“Is it like, open invite? For anyone?”

“Yeah! I was thinking if I can convince Noir here to get someone to come with us we can all hang out as a group!”

“ _You’re asking for me, that doesn't c-_ ” Noir muttered, and Ham reached up and stuck a hand over his mouth.

“Sweet, we can all hang out,” Miles nodded. Everyone agreed.

Peni smiled at him and in that moment he knew he had officially lost their little bet.

-

Eventually the pizza came and they all ate in silence, agreeing to meet for the club the next week before heading back to their dorms together.

Ham went in first, and Noir closed the door behind him, seeing him climb on the bed as he turned around. Noir’s bed. Not his own.

“What are you doing?”

“Well,” his voice pitched up, almost melodically, “now that we’re friends, we should be able to hang out like friends! We can have sleepovers!”

Noir felt himself shiver.

“No.”

“But-”

“Why are you doing this? Is this like, some kind of weird gag or something?”

“Noir, I-”

“You’re acting like we’re best friends, like you know me or something. Why? What’s in it for you?”

Ham just stood there. He blinked, and frowned, but it didn’t seem like he was mad at Noir. His next words were quiet, calculated.

“You really don’t know how having friends works, do ya?”

Noir didn’t answer. He walked silently over and sat on the bed, Ham bouncing up a good few inches and falling back to the mattress. The only light in the room came from the sunset outside, golden and thick and odd. Ham noticed that not only did Noir not have any color of his own, but the orange sunlight reflected white on him, too.

Noir laid back, hands behind his head. He pushed his glasses up to rest on the top of his head. “... You don’t have to act like you wanna be my friend, y’know.”

“‘M not pretending. For someone who wants to solve mysteries for a living you sure are bad at picking up on that.”

“The people at the club didn’t like me either. They thought I was weird.”

“They loved you, dummy. You’re just a little… _intense_ is all,” Ham dropped his voice to a whisper. It was the first time Noir had ever seen him serious. It left a sour taste in his mouth, but that might have been leftover pizza grease.

Ham scooted back until he slotted himself between Noir’s elbow and his shoulder. He was so warm, and Noir was sure that Ham could feel his heartbeat. “You’re a mystery to me. To everyone. People like that. People… they like it when expectations are flipped on them, y’know? You look all dark and brooding and edgy but you aren’t. I saw how you acted with Peni today, that kid thinks you’re a gem! I don’t think anyone’s ever been so calm around her little pet before. That meant the world for her.”

Noir covered his face with his hands, accidentally pushing Ham in a way that he ended up resting on his chest. He peeked through his fingers to see the top of Ham’s head. He was resting on his chest, rising and falling with Noir’s breathing, a comforting weight.

“I saw you smile for the first time today.”

Noir’s breathing hitched.

“Did you, now?”

“Mhmm. It was nice,” Ham shifted, rolling onto his stomach and using Noir’s chest like a pillow. "You look sweet when you smile."

Noir felt like he should be bothered by it, like he should want to move or run as far as he can or something, but…

He didn’t. He thought about it, and all he wanted was to stay there and rest. He was exhausted and warm and full, and he wanted to rest.

So he sat up a little and pulled Ham closer to his chest, still loose enough that he could leave with minimal effort.

“...We can have a sleepover if you really want, but don't complain if I wake you up too early.”

Ham nuzzled him and gripped his shirt, and it took every ounce of willpower to push down the butterflies in his stomach.

“That’s what I thought.”

So Noir kicked off his boots and pulled the blanket up over both of them, and for the first time he could remember he fell right to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS chapter sponsored by the cute girl who gave me a redbull earlier today. i know youre not reading this, but thats okay. i owe you my life, cute girl. youre my hero
> 
> please comment if you enjoyed this!!! i started college today and i have a 5 hour block between two of my classes so im gonna be writing a LOT the coming few weeks but i still need the motivation all your comments give me!!! <3


	4. one short day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no beta read we die like illiterate men

Ham hadn’t gotten such a good night of sleep in  _ weeks, _ at least. He always slept better when he was spending the night with someone else, but the odd thing was he couldn’t remember who he had fallen asleep with.

The night before came back to him in bits and pieces, and he turned around, surprised to find Noir drooling onto his shirt. His arms were wound tightly around Ham’s chest and his face was buried in the crook of his neck, like he was an oversized plush toy. Ham managed to roll over fully, their noses brushing. 

Trying to get out of Noir’s sleepy death grip without waking him up was like a super extreme high stakes game of Operation. Every time he was almost out, Noir would make a noise or move and he’d get distracted. 

Noir was like a totally different person when he slept. He  _ never  _ relaxed when he was awake, constantly drawn in on himself and hypervigilant. But, now, his face was squished against the pillowcase and his mouth was slightly open, his dark hair curling around his face. He looked otherworldly. The sunlight streaming in through the window turned white where it met his skin, rather than keeping the golden orange tint it normally held. The world seemed to  _ bend  _ to his existence the same way it did with Ham, but... different, at the same time. His entire being radiated with something that Ham didn’t quite understand- a  _ severity _ that he couldn’t put his finger on.

It was  _ very  _ distracting... But Ham knew he only had a few minutes until-

_ Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!  _ **_Beep! Beep!_ **

Noir’s alarm chimed. He reached out and turned the alarm off, accidentally squishing Ham under his chest as he stretched. 

_ Squeak! _

Noir jumped back (sending Ham flying off the edge of the bed) and stuck to the wall, shuffling up towards the ceiling as he swallowed down air. “What the hell were you doing in my bed?”

“If I remember right, we fell asleep together,” Ham said, dusting himself off. “And I have class in like, twenty minutes… And as cozy as it was bein’ your cuddle buddy last night, I  _ refuse  _ to waste my tuition money,” he rambled as he headed into the closet. 

He came back out a few moments later in a Hawaiian shirt and technicolor shorts. He looked up to find Noir sitting on his bed and buttoning his plain uniform shirt. Ham pointedly ignored the scars he could see peeking out from behind the fabric. “Do you want me to get ya some breakfast?”

Noir looked up, taken aback by the gesture. “Ah… No, it’s fine. I don’t eat breakfast.”

“You do  _ now _ ,” Ham stated, rummaging through his mini fridge. “Any requests?”

Noir thought for a second, then, as a joke, said the following. “Eggs over easy with toast and raspberry jam?”

Then, completely serious, Ham pulled out a plate of exactly that, along with a cup of orange juice. Noir found this odd, seeing as the food was warm, and there was no way that a plate of that size could fit in in such a small fridge, but he had long since realized that any attempt to question the things Ham was capable of would only lead to a headache and half an hour of Ham throwing out words and concepts that he just didn’t understand.

“Alright I’ve gotta go. Love ya, don’t forget about the party tonight! Meet me back here at like, four and I’ll help get ready!”

Ham quickly fled the dorm without telling him what to do with the plate and cup when he was done, so he just sat there eating in silence, thinking hard about the night before. 

_ "You look sweet when you smile." _

He felt sick. No he didn’t- the food tasted too good for him to feel sick. He felt…  _ Flustered _ . As much as he hated to admit it. Nobody had really ever complimented him like that before. It felt weird. Nobody had ever shared a bed with him, either. 

His mind went back to waking up that morning with Ham pressed to his chest, arms wound around him. He was so  _ warm, _ and he smelled like the pizza they had earlier mixed with whatever soap he used. Thinking about it left regret weighing heavy in his chest but he couldn’t place  _ why _ .

There was a soft knock at the door and he jumped like he had been caught doing something wrong. Steadying his breath, he got out of bed and answered it.

Peni stood outside, wringing her hands. She looked up at him and rocked back onto her heels.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” he gave a short wave, leaning on the door frame. “Ya need something, kid?”

She brightened up like she had just remembered where she was. “Oh, yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the mall with me? I don’t know this area super well and you seem cool, and I don’t have any nice clothes for the party tonight, so…” She smiled, knocking her heels together and drawing her hands in towards her chest. “I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch and go shopping! My treat.” 

Noir blinked. Ham’s words rang in his ears; “ _ That kid thinks you’re a gem!” _

He cleared his throat. “I- yeah. Do you have a car?”

She laughed, scratching the back of her head. “Well, uh, not exactly. I was hoping you did but I can call a cab if you want.”

“I don’t have a car, but… I can get us there. I’ll get my jacket,” he quickly spoke, turning around and glancing around the room for the garment. Peni stepped forward into the room, hovering near the doorway.

The room seemed full, on the right. Clothes poured out onto the bed, a stack of books on the dresser… it looked very lived in, very  _ alive _ .

The left side of the room, where Noir was pulling back the thin sheets and looking for his coat, looked as if he hadn’t unpacked yet. The only indication of someone living there was the duffle bag on the floor next to the bed, and the journal and pen on the bedside table. 

Noir made a sound and she looked over to find him shrugging his coat over his shoulders and sliding the notebook into an inner pocket, clicking the pen in his hands. “We’ve gotta make a quick stop before we head out. Other side of campus.”

“M’kay!” she chirped, tugging on her backpack straps.

Noir locked the door behind them and they headed out. He checked his notebook, remembering where MJ’s room is. 

Peni kept quiet as they walked, looking up at Noir while he clicked his pen over and over again. For someone who had seemed so withdrawn, he sure walked like he had something to prove. His coat always seemed to billow out behind him, making him seem much larger and more imposing than he already was, which was impressive seeing as he stood a solid foot taller than Peni.

He paused in front of a seemingly random door, knocking on it. There were voices inside that seemed to soften after the knock. 

A pretty girl with long red hair opened the door, smiling like sunshine. Noir scratched the back of his neck. “Hey, Peter! What’s up?”

“I need to borrow your helmet. I’m taking… I’m taking my friend somewhere.”

“Of course,” she smiled brighter, looking Peni over. “Just a second.”

She disappeared behind the door and came back with the shiny green helmet in hand. “Be safe out there.”

“I always am,” Noir gave MJ a half-smile, tilting his head towards her. “Love ya, red.”

“Love you too, nerd!”

Peni took the helmet, tapping it with her fingertips while the door shut in front of them. They headed out towards the parking lot. 

“So, is she a friend of yours?”

Noir was surprisingly hard to read past his glasses, Peni had noticed, but she could see his eyes dart quickly to glance at her. “Yeah. Been my best friend since I was a kid.”

“ _ Ohh _ ,” Peni said, nodding slowly. “Okay.”

“Why’d you say it like that?”

She walked a little faster, sticking her hands in the pockets of her skirt. “I just wasn’t sure if you two were dating or not. You seem close! It’s nice.”

His steps stuttered for a moment, but he shook off the comment. People used to assume that a lot in high school- it’s part of why they started hanging out less, as much as he hated to admit it. “Yeah, we’re just friends. She’s like a sister to me.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet!” Peni leaned against him for a second, looking up at him. 

They pushed through the doors to the parking lot and Noir led her over to a sleek black motorcycle. Peni picked up the pace and climbed on behind him, strapping the helmet on.

“You ever been on a bike before?”

“Nope!”

“Ridin’ a motorcycle for the first time is a lot like ridin’ a rollercoaster. Just hold on tight and lean into the turns, got it?”

“Got it!”

Noir almost started the engine, but paused. “Hang on a second. kid,” he took his jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders, buttoning the top few buttons. “I’m a good driver, but we’re better off safe than sorry.”

She stuck her arms through the sleeves and held on tightly as he started the bike and drove off. His jacket was surprisingly heavy considering how it flowed out behind her, like thick smoke in the wind. The edges of the sleeves were frayed and worn. The entire jacket was frayed and worn, really, its age clear in the way it held together. She noticed there was a part of the elbow that was sewn together with spider silk, too.

She just buried her face in the back of his shirt and held on. He wasn’t going too fast. In fact, he seemed to be going slower than he needed to, but she still felt nervous.

They got to the mall fairly quick, rolling into the parking lot and getting a spot close to the doors. Once the bike came to a stop, Peni took the jacket off along with her backpack, getting SP//DR out of its little space in the bag. It crawled onto her shoulder, tapping its legs against her happily. It stayed close to her hair, obscured by shadows.

“Okay, kid, where to first?”

She checked her phone, a list written out. “Umm… Clothes shopping! Then we can get lunch afterwards.”

“Sounds aces,” he replied, holding the door open for her. She shot him an amused smirk as she walked past him.

“ _ Aces _ ?”

He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Y’know, aces. Sweet.  _ Cool _ . All that. Hip.”

She laughed, and Noir felt a spike of self consciousness at first, but she took his hand and pulled him forward. “C’mon, old timer, let’s  _ go _ !”

(And he felt better.)

Peni dragged him into one of the stores- some edgy teen store with mostly merch for movies and tv shows. She headed for the back while he stayed at the front, scanning the posters. 

Anime poster, anime poster, tv show… 

Wait just a second.

Noir paused, looking closely at one in particular. 

“Uh, Peni?”

“Yeah,” came a voice from far too close. He jumped, cursing under his breath.

“Uh… Ham’s on this poster.”

“Huh? Oh, shoot, he is! I thought they only sold his merch online!”

Noir scoffed as Peni pulled out one of the posters, giggling to herself. “How am I the only person alive who’s never heard of this guy? Least ‘til I ended up livin’ with him...” 

She just shrugged. “I’m buying this for you. You need some decoration on your side of the dorm!”

“I don’t wanna feed into his ego- no.”

“Too late! It’s decided,” she laughed, handing it to the cashier. Noir rolled his eyes.

“You’re not gonna be able to put that up in my dorm. I’ll just take it down.”

“We’ll see.”

The next store they went into was significantly different.

It seemed fairly fancy and the entire area smelled really weird, but Peni headed towards the racks of clothing with so much enthusiasm that he felt right at home with her.

After a few minutes she had picked out a few things, holding the clothes in her arms as she headed to the dressing room. Noir hung back just outside, looking at the clothes people had tried on but decided not to keep.

There was a nice jacket there, with those clothes. It was something like a black and red letterman jacket, but instead of a school logo there were roses on the front. He reached out and touched it, and the fabric felt heavy through his gloves.

Noir looked around the store. Nobody was watching. No eyes were on him.

So he took his coat off, and he put the jacket on.

He walked further into the dressing room until he found a mirror.

It felt weird, seeing color on himself. It somehow didn’t feel out of place, though. It looked natural, rather than contrasting with the lack of pigment in his skin.

“I really think red is your color.”

He jumped, turning around. 

Peni stood with her head and shoulders sticking out of the dressing room curtain. She stepped all the way out, revealing her full outfit.

She was wearing a red jacket and a black button up shirt, tucked into a pair of black jeans. Simple, but nice. Noir told her so.

She smiled and looked in the mirror, spinning around. “Should I get it?”

“Sure, if you like it,” he shrugged, taking off the jacket. Peni reached out and stopped him.

“Hey. Noir.”

“Peni.”

“Do you like that jacket?”

“I s’pose?”

She squeezed his hand. “Let’s buy it!”

“What? No- it’s  _ expensive _ . I don’t wanna-”

“Nope!” She grinned, taking him by the arm. “I’m gonna change back into my clothes, and I am buying you that jacket. You look  _ way _ too cute in it!”

He sighed in defeat. Peni went back into the dressing room with her head held high.

-

The mall food court was loud and colorful, and Noir felt out of place. Even standing on the edge of it was overwhelming, but he pulled his trenchcoat closer to his body and tried to let himself fade into the background. 

Then Peni pulled him into the fray and started pointing out the different restaurants, her grip on his hand anchoring him.

Noir was used to his life. He was used to quiet mundanity, he was used to loss, and he was used to sticking out. He had lived his entire life followed by a trail of hurt and held his resolve the entire time. 

Why did these people have such an effect on him?

Peni sat him down in a chair and the next thing he knew he had a burger in his hands and Peni was snacking on some fries. 

They ate in silence until SP//dr decided it had been still for too long, scuttling out from the shadows of Peni’s hair and onto the table. Peni picked off a piece of meat from her burger and offered it to the spider, grinning as it quickly ate the morsel.

“I didn’t know spiders ate meat.”

“Normally they don’t. SP//dr is special,” she said, only just loud enough that Noir could hear it. He found himself smiling.

Then, in unison, they both flinched, something in the back of their heads commanding their attention. 

Neither of them expected someone to scream out “ _ SPIDER!!! _ ” and slam their hand against the table, only a few inches from the arachnid in question.

Peni quickly collected her partner into her hands, completely on autopilot. Noir stood up and his chair screeched out behind him as he wedged himself between Peni and the mall patron.

“Hey,” he spoke, trying to quell the anger inside him. “What’s your problem.”

“My problem is that there’s a  _ bug _ ! People eat here!”

“So what? It’s not hurting anyone, you twit! Get lost- leave my friend alone!”

A small crowd had gathered around the two of them and Noir feared he may actually have to fight this person, but they huffed and stormed off, thankfully. Once the crowd fully dispersed, he turned around to check on Peni. 

“Hey, kid, you alright?”

She blinked at him and pulled him in for a hug, warm and safe and quieter than the crowd. 

“Yeah. This… isn’t the first time. But I never go anywhere without SP//dr- I…”

She squeezed him tighter for a second before pulling back. “Thank you. A lot.”

He just stared at her for a long while. His chest felt warm, his head fuzzy. 

“No prob, kiddo. Let’s head back, though. I bet Ham’s gonna blow a fuse waiting on us.”

She laughed, and they started making their way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> peni's outfit is supposed to be inspired by misato from neon genesis evangelion !! 
> 
> please comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love writing but i love seeing your comments even more


	5. you're at the party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi welcome to "the author makes too many vague john mulaney related jokes, talks too much about tarantulas, and writes a scene so sappy she has to stop writing it 4 times to do jumping jacks just to calm down"
> 
> bunsen, upton, and junior from the original spiderham comics are in this chapter!! i love them too much to leave them out!! addy brock is mentioned as well, i might write more of her later.

By the time they got back on campus, they had both calmed down and were chatting comfortably back and forth. The sun was lower in the sky, washing everything in a golden glow that made Noir stick out all the more. It was even weirder with his jacket, because the gold caught the light where his skin washed it into a cold, colorless white. 

“So how’d you convince the headmaster to let you keep a spider with you in your dorm?”

The spider in question was sitting on Peni’s shoulder, cuddled into her hair. “I actually have them registered as an emotional support animal! It’s a lot easier than you’d expect. I just told my therapist I wouldn’t be able to go to school without them and she let me get them registered,” she smiled, looking at her little friend as it tapped her face with its legs.

Noir hummed. “People’ve had fits about it before?”

Her smile fell. “Yeah. Plenty of times. I usually can get out of the situation before anything bad happens, and SP//dr is a lot sturdier than they look! They’re a mutant, but their main genes are from goliaths and mexican red knee tarantulas! They don’t have any of the aggression issues goliaths normally have, though. You’re not even supposed to  _ touch  _ goliaths. SP//dr got most of their personality from the red knee, I think! I raised them from a sling.”

“A sling?”

“Oh- a spiderling. Sling for short. Sorry, I’m not used to people actually  _ listening _ when I talk about this stuff. You can tell me if I’m being annoying,” she smiled and looked down at her shoes, fiddling with her hands, clearly self conscious about it. He shook his head and put a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s interesting, and I like hearing about it.”

She looked up at him, letting her hands fall to her sides again. “Y’know, I’d say I was surprised that it took such a liking to you, but now I’m really not that surprised.”

“What do you mean?”

“ _ You’re like us _ ,” she smiled, putting her hand over his. “Different. Good different.”

He smiled for a moment, but was pulled out of his thoughts when he rounded the corner to see Peter B sitting against his door, playing games on his phone. Peni groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose, suddenly looking much more tired. Peter looked up and grinned sheepishly.

“Hey, if it isn’t my favorite incredible supergenius and super sweet roommate and my… favorite snazzily dressed neighbor!”

“You locked your keys inside again, didn’t you,” Peni deadpanned. 

“Did I lock my keys inside… or did I lock myself… outside- that went better in my head, actually! Yeah, I locked my keys inside.”

She shook her head and fished her keys out of her skirt pocket, an animated sweat drop appearing over her head. “What would you even  _ do  _ without me,” she mumbled as he went inside.

“Uh, I dunno, learn to pick locks like fuckin’... Johnny English over here.”

“Language,” Noir chastised. Peter rolled his eyes.

“If he’s Johnny English, what does that make you?” Peni laughed. She motioned for Noir to come into their dorm, and he did so, albeit a bit cautiously. 

“Uhh, Austin Powers. Duh,” Peter gave her finger guns and threw himself backwards onto the bed. “ _ Groovey, babey _ !” he announced, in what was almost definitely the world’s loudest and also  _ worst  _ Austin Powers impression.

Peni cracked up laughing and even Noir bit back a snort. Once she calmed down, she gasped. “Oh Peter you’ve gotta hear this! Noir, say that you’re gonna steal the declaration of independence!”

Noir blinked. “I’m going to steal the declaration of independence...?”

Peter covered his mouth. “He sounds just like-”

“I know, right? Miles said he couldn't see it!”

“What are you two on about?” Noir asked, leaning against a wall. He took in the room, the posters strung up, the big tank where he assumed Peni kept SP//dr when they were here. Peni had books stacked on the bottom of her bed in piles, some open, all of their pages filled with a rainbow of sticky notes. 

Peter’s bed had a few pillows and a grocery bag on it, along with a very thick old quilt and a few empty food boxes. Somehow, despite not touching or being close to the bed, Noir could still feel the crumbs on it.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s a compliment,” Peter said, flipping onto his stomach and looking at Noir. He fished around under the blankets and pulled out a bag of chips, already opened and half empty. “Oh, score! I lost this like, three days ago!”

Peni looked pained. “Wanna trade roommates?”

“Nah. I think I’ll take my chances with what I’ve got. He’s not that bad, actually.”

“Aw, do ya really mean it? Am I growin’ on ya?” Ham drawled from the doorway. He was standing on the doorknob, one hand stuck to the door itself keeping him upright as it swung open. All 3 of them turned around and stared at him.

“Yeah, you’re growing on me,” Noir said, letting Ham jump up onto his shoulder without flinching. “Like a tumor.”

“Awww, I love you too, you big softie!”

Ham left a big kiss on his cheek, and Noir wiped it off, along with the weird feeling it left in his stomach and the too warm too cold feeling it left on his face.  _ Mwah. _

“Well, hello to you too,” he mumbled, not noticing the way Ham looked closely at his face.

“Get a room,” Peter heckled through a mouthful of chips. Peni laughed. 

“Hi, Ham!” she waved, straightening out her sheets.

Ham looked up from Noir and jumped from his shoulders onto Peni’s bed, hugging her tightly. “Peni, you absolute doll! What have you done with my roommate? He’s wearing nice clothes for once and I didn’t have to peer pressure him into it!”

“Hey, wait a second, you peer pressured me into that? That’s what that was?”

“Oh, Casanova, that’s what friends are for! Pushing each other to do things we never would have the confidence to do on our own! Besides, you look  _ good _ for a change!”

Noir pouted and he jammed his hands into his coat pockets. “Gee, thanks.”

“You’re welcome!”

“Hey, Porker, what time is the party tonight?” Peter asked. “And also where, and for how long, and what is every other detail about it other than the fact that it’s happening and there’s free food?”

“Jesus,” Peni mumbled, shaking her head despite the affectionate smile on her face. While they talked, she got up and carefully let SP//dr crawl into the glass enclosure. She motioned Noir over. “Wanna watch me feed the little guy?”

He blinked in surprise. “Sure.”

-

The party was apparently hosted at the headmaster’s house, by his son. Ham agreed to drive the four of them in his bright yellow volkswagen beetle, somehow. They ended up playing rock-paper-scissors to see who got shotgun, and Noir lost immediately. Peni won after 5 rounds of her and Peter playing the same thing over and over. 

They arrived, and immediately upon stepping out of the car, three toons in flashy outfits bombarded Ham with hugs and hellos. 

“Hammy!”

“Where ya been, Porker?”

“We missed you!”

Ham hugged them back and kissed each one on the cheek. “Bunsen! Upton! Junior! I’d like you to meet my roommate, and next door neighbors.”

Noir raised a hand in a half wave. All three of them paused and gasped, and Ham turned around. “Wait-”

One of the toons- a black cat with hot pink sunglasses and an otherwise  _ extremely _ 1980’s outfit- slid across the hood of the car and lept off at the last second, clinging to Noir’s coat and leaning  _ very _ close to his face, squishing his cheek with one hand.

“Wow, you weren’t kiddin’! He  _ is  _ pretty cute, for a human!”

Ham flinched and scrambled across the car himself, the other two toons giggling and watching the exchange. “Hey, now, Upton, c’mon! Let the man be!”

The cat, Upton, hopped backwards only for another one of them to take Noir’s hand, shaking it firmly. He was a rabbit, with big red glasses and a plaid shirt. “I’m Bunsen! It’s a pleasure to meet ya!”

“Hiya,” Noir shook his hand back, nodding his head. “Call me Noir. Good to meet you.”

The last one, Junior, motioned to the house. “Come on inside! I just ordered pizzas so they should be here soon.”

Noir noted that this kid must be hosting, which made him the headmaster’s son. He picked up something about his dad being out of town, which, from what he had heard about the headmaster being a huge jerk who everyone hated, and what he knew about parties, meant that this house would  _ definitely _ be trashed by the end of the night. Poor kid.

The group of them all went inside, and Noir saw Miles, Ganke, and Gwen sitting on the porch with a kid he didn’t recognize, passing around a family sized bag of chips. Peter B stopped and sat down, greeting all of them and taking a big handful of chips for himself.

Apparently the kids name was Hobie, and he was considering joining their club as well.

Noir wanted to stay outside, but Peni took his hand and pulled him into the fray.

Music thrummed and people moved like one mass, either talking or dancing or both. Color filled every space, everything swallowed by rainbow christmas lights and party lights in every color.

Peni stopped, suddenly. 

“Oh, god, it’s her…”

“Who?”

A girl with short silver hair was sitting on one of the counters, drinking out of a water bottle. She looked up and smiled brightly, and before he could ask any more questions Peni was nowhere to be found, dipping into the crowd. He drifted over to the counter, pushing himself against it and getting a cup of water from the sink.

Noir wasn’t… adjusted to being social. He had learned, over the years, the fine skill of fading into the background.  Of leaning against a wall, and observing. But engaging? Talking to people? This was uncharted territory, and he was starting to panic.

He knew, logically, that at a party largely populated by toons, nobody would be paying too much attention to someone who looked a little different, but at the same time he felt like everyone was staring at him at once. Years of being poked and prodded and stared at had built up an instinct in him that made the room a little colder. Everything was so loud, and bright, and-

There was a click, a flash, and a hand landed on his shoulder.

“ _ Hey _ .”

He looked up to see Ham, smiling at him, his head tilting towards him. He had a red cup in his hand and a camera around his neck and the mere sight of him was enough to knock the breath out of Noir, cutting off his panic like a bullet through a water bottle. 

“Yo,” he breathed, tilting his cup towards him.

“Ya sure do look tense! Me and the other spiders and a few friends are gonna play party games upstairs, you wanna come?”

“Yes,” Noir sighed in relief, downing the rest of his water. Ham hopped up onto his shoulders. “Isn’t there anywhere else you can be?”

“You’d lose me in the crowd. Go down the hall on the left up there,” he pointed. His hand fell into Noir’s hair, absentmindedly messing with it as they walked. Noir tilted his head into the touch.

As they went up the stairs, the sounds of the music and people got duller and duller. 

“Your head is really warm,” Ham commented. “But your cheeks are  _ freezing. _ How are you like this?”

“Such is the duality of man,” Noir shrugged. “Which room?”

“Juniors room is the third on the right, that’s where everyone’s at.”

They walked down the hall and one of the doors opened to reveal someone drunkenly laughing. “Don’t go in there,” he suggested, before promptly running into the bathroom and shutting the door again. Noir pressed his face against Ham’s hands and walked faster.

As it turns out, everyone included the spider gang (and Ganke), Hobie, Junior, Upton, and Bunsen, all sitting in a circle. Some were on the bed, some on the floor. Peni saw Noir and immediately waved at him, patting the carpet next to her. She had her backpack open on her lap, probably checking on SP//dr.

He sat down and Ham hopped into his lap. “Alright, so what game did you rascals decide on?”

“Truth or dare,” Gwen replied. “Old but classic.”

The rest of them seemed to agree. Ham hopped off of Noir’s lap, cuddling up next to him. Noir, unsure what to do, simply rested a hand on Ham’s head. That seemed to work well enough.

Ham pressed his head into his hand, and Noir made a point to fix his gaze on the ground. 

“Noir starts, then!”

“Huh?” He looked up. Everyone but him had their finger on their nose. He swore under his breath. Ham pulled out an empty glass coke bottle and pushed it into his hands.

“Get spinnin’!”

He had mostly picked up on the rules, at that point. He stuck the bottle in the middle and spun it around.

It slowed to a stop, landing on Peni. 

“Truth,” she said, zipping her backpack up.

Noir thought for a moment. “Who was that girl you saw who you ran off after seeing?”

Everyone looked on in interest and Peni’s cheeks went red.

“She… She was a  _ friend  _ of mine, in my old school. I was really mean to her at first, and uh… Once I got to know her better I-” she paused. “Yeah. I just… don’t wanna deal with all that right now. I’m here for fun!“

Noir patted her shoulder. “Sorry for bringing it up, Peni.”

“Nah, you guys deserve to know! Sorry for running off,” she apologized, grabbing the bottle and giving it a spin. 

“It’s no big deal”

The game continued on for a while, with Miles going next and taking the dare to sit on the ceiling the next few turns. Then it went to Gwen, who revealed that she secretly enjoyed cheesy romcoms. They went around and around, until finally it landed on Ham. 

“Truth,” he said, without thinking.

Ganke, who had been the one to spin it, thought for a moment. “Do you have a crush on anyone right now?”

Ham froze. He tapped his mouth, looking down for a good few seconds.

“Gonna take the dare, actually!”

Everyone booed, and Miles fell off the ceiling as Peter and Ganke both tried to catch him, neither one succeeding, because Miles landed on his feet. A few people applauded, and then returned to booing Ham.

“Aw, c’mon now!”

“You can’t say that!”

“I  _ dare  _ you to tell us!”

Ham laughed, rolling onto his back but still using Noir’s leg as a pillow. “Fine.  _ Maybe.  _ That’s all you’re gettin’,” he muttered, spinning the bottle with his foot. It made a full circle, and just a little further, onto Noir. 

“Truth.”

“Same question! Got your eye on anyone…?”

Noir took a slow breath and pushed his glasses up on his face. “I… might. I don’t know yet.”

He looked down at Ham and they made eye contact for a fraction of a second too long. Noir panicked and went to grab the bottle only for it to immediately stick to his hand.

“Shit,” he muttered, trying to shake it off. He squeezed down and the bottle shattered like it was nothing, glass shards sticking to and into his hand through his glove. “Uh.”

“Oh, jeez,” Ham stood up. “C’mon, let’s go clean that up. Upton, you take my turn,” he said, pulling another bottle out of nowhere. It was made of pink glass, and shaped like a bear with a little bow tie.

“Aw, yeah!”

-

Ham had him sitting on the closed toilet seat, keeping his hand outstretched. There was a basic first aid kit under the sink. 

“You really don’t have to do this,” Noir assured him. “I can fix myself up just fine. You should go back to the party.”

Ham  _ tsk _ ed and Noir looked up. 

“Ham?”

“Mhmm?”

“What in God’s name are you wearing?”

“A nurse outfit. And that’s doctor Ham to you,” he winked, and Noir laughed, covering his mouth with his good hand. 

Ham’s whole face lit up like a firework, his ears perking up and his eyes sparkling. He flapped his hands, clapping and bouncing in place. Noir felt his cheeks get hot, still unable to stop smiling.

“ _ What _ ?”

“I got you to  _ laugh _ !”

Noir’s face was absolutely burning. “So, what?”

“ _ So what? _ I’ve been trying since we met! And  _ this _ is what finally did it?”

He gestured to himself, the skirt, the little white hat with the red cross on it. “What gives?!”

Noir looked away. “It’s- it’s kinda dumb.”

“No, I  _ have _ to know! Do not deny me this!”

He sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. “Nah, I’m gonna leave you wondering. Anway, did you know wearing something with a red cross on it when you’re not part of the red cross foundation is a war crime? You’re a war criminal now,  _ Hammy _ ,” he smirked, looking at Ham from the space under his glasses, looking  _ far _ too handsome for someone who just shattered a bottle with his bare hand.

Ham sputtered, completely dumbfounded. He tugged the hat off and threw it hard against the sink. “D’you want me to fix your hand up or not?”

“By all means, doc, do your thing.”

Ham just stared at him for a second, taking in the way he looked just as good in the ugly fluorescent light of the bathroom.

“Alright, I’m gonna take the glove off.”

Noir hummed in affirmation and Ham got to work, noticing the way Noir didn’t flinch or tense up.

His breathing did pick up when Ham winced, noting the scars all along his fingers, especially around his thumb. 

Ham didn’t comment, just pulled his hand over the sink.

“This’ll hurt.”

“Go ahead.”

Ham poured something on his hand, and he hissed a little through his teeth, balling his other hand into a fist.

“You’re doing great,” Ham assured him, rubbing his upper arm to calm him down. His breathing evened out and he looked at Ham.

The lights flickered, old and worn. The music from downstairs pulsed through the floor, heavy on the bass, in a way that made the room feel dreamlike and hazy. Ham was partially silhouetted and constantly reassuring him in a soft voice that he couldn't help but calm down hearing.

Ham turned on the faucet, nudging Noir’s arm over to the warm stream of water. The glass came loose, and Ham turned the water to cold to keep it from bleeding.

It didn’t completely help.

Noir’s blood was red. A dark, coppery red that made him feel odd, looking at it.

“Bunsen would have a field day trying to figure you out. He’s a big nerd for mysteries.”

“Like what?”

“Like how your blood is red, but you don’t _blush_ red. 'S neat.”

“Yeah?” Noir swallowed air while Ham got the bandages out and held his hand out, getting ready to wrap it up. “How’d you figure that out?”

Ham didn’t answer for a while, just staring at Noir’s hand.

“...Y’know, we toons have uh… Something that works better than medicine. For small stuff.”

“Mhmm?”

“Yeah. It’ll be better in just a few minutes, that way. If you want me to do it.”

Noir shrugged. “Sure? ‘S long as you’re not cuttin’ my hand off or nothing.”

“Don’t be silly!”

Ham took his hand, looking at all the individual cuts from the glass, at the burn scars around his fingertips. 

He pressed his lips to the palm of Noir’s hand, only for a moment. He paused, pushing down the overwhelming sense of smug triumph at seeing Noir’s face turn a dark grey, his jaw going slack, his eyes widening in flustered surprise- to focus on carefully kissing each scratch, one by one.

It was entirely superfluous and self indulgent of him to do this; one kiss was more than enough to fix everything. But Noir didn’t have to know that, and maybe Ham wanted to be a little selfish today. 

He paused, looking at the raised scars around Noir’s fingertips, then making eye contact as he kissed all five of them.

He stayed still for a moment, then pulled back. “Feel better?”

Noir blinked a few times, snapping his jaw shut. “Y-yeah… yes. Thank you. Thanks. Doesn’t hurt anymore.”

Ham finally let his smile push through, all sense of smugness washed away by seeing Noir fiddle with his glasses, trying to hide his eyes.

“If you were wondering,” Ham said, climbing under the cabinet. When he came out, he was back in his normal clothes. “That’s how I figured out you don’t blush red. Come back and join us whenever you’re ready.”

He slipped out of the door before Noir could protest. 

Noir got up, noticing he was  _ shaking _ a little. His heart was pounding, his face was burning, and he felt positively dizzy.

This wasn’t good.

This really, wasn't good.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, no beta we die like sleep deprived bastards.  
> please comment... if you liked it.... i am........................... need validation for my work


	6. the worlds best kisser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> party: crashed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if theres any inconsistencies in this chapter just. ignore them. disregard. i wrote this in a horrible daze.

Ham let the door click shut behind himself, waiting a few seconds before he slumped back against it. He touched his fingertips to his lips, letting his eyes fall shut, reliving the moments prior. His heart was pounding and his stomach twisted with  _ guilt  _ and exhilaration and something strange that he didn’t wanna think about.

He knew what was supposed to happen, and he wanted it to be painless, but something told him it wouldn’t be anything close. He had to fix this. 

He had to fix this  _ now _ .

They- he and his friends- had planned it in advance. A dumb, basic plan to get Noir a little drunk and let him loose in front of a crowd just to see what would happen. Get him rambling. Get him to do something embarrassing in front of everyone.

Ham didn’t  _ want _ that anymore, though. Noir’s trust was so,  _ so  _ fragile, and he had worked so  _ hard  _ to get Noir to like him, and he was finally getting somewhere! Doing something like that would start him back at square one! 

Ham just… Didn’t know how to handle someone like Noir. He  _ never  _ knew how to handle people who weren’t immediately sold on the idea of him, on the fun persona he put on for other people. It was second nature for him at this point. He wasn’t too smart, and he was, well…  _ different _ . He knew people were put off by how different he was, so he made up for it with jokes and charm and loud, cheesy tricks, made people smile so they didn’t have to think anything else of it. They just  _ liked  _ him.

From what he could tell, Noir did the opposite. He went in instead of out. Noir didn’t  _ need _ other people to like him, and it made Ham feel like he  _ needed  _ Noir to like him. It was ridiculous, and he had never felt that way about  _ anyone  _ before, even when other people hated him.

He had thought that Noir would be easy to win over when they first met, but now it felt like every step he took ended up with another step backwards. It was a long game, but Ham was in it to win. 

And he knew letting (much less  _ planning for _ ) Noir make an ass of himself in front of other people would be like throwing the game entirely.

At the same time, he also knew he couldn’t let everyone else down. His social standing would be ruined! He found himself frantically trying to think of a way he could satisfy everyone without getting hurt, or hurting anyone in the process.

Well… If they couldn’t have that, they would survive with some other kind of dumb entertainment, right? Some kind of nonsense last  _ hurrah _ to end the party with a bang?

And just like that, Ham knew what he had to do.

-

Noir stared at himself in the mirror.

He did not have- have  _ feelings for _ -

He couldn't wrap his head around the idea enough to admit it could even be  _ possible _ , that those words could even  _ go  _ together coherently. He looked at his hand and-

Oh, okay.  _ Okay _ . Cool.

There were technicolor red kiss marks all over his hand, a for-sure sign that Ham had, in fact, kissed him. He had kissed him several times, in fact. Noir counted them out, touching the tip of his finger to each one, lightly so as to not damage them.

Twelve. There were twelve burning red stains on his hand in total, and the cuts in his hand had already healed over.

He thought counting them would make him calm down but once he finished, he just got dizzy again, pushing his glasses up, tugging his hat down, and turning the sink on as cold as it could go.

He watched the red swirl down the drain, leaving his hand as desaturated and plain as ever, save for the age-old scars around his fingertips.

Okay, so, there was a perfectly logical way to explain his emotions- to explain the fluttery feelings in his stomach and the giddy happiness and warped panic he felt. 

He had never made close friends with someone before, and Ham was so nice, and thoughtful, and- and of  _ course _ these were just  _ friend  _ feelings. This is how it works, he’ll feel better in a week once Ham decides he isn’t worth trying to be friends with and then he’ll never have to think about this little  _ incident  _ again! He’ll just ignore his feelings until then! He nodded to himself, feeling like a genius.

Does it matter that he doesn't feel the same way about Peni and MJ, who he considers his closest friends? Great question! No! It does not. 

(Denial is one hell of a drug!)

He sat there, staring at himself in the mirror, trying to psych himself up to go back and face them.

“Oh, that ain’t good…” someone groaned. Noir jumped and whipped around to face the source of the sound.

The shower curtain moved, and an exhausted looking man in grey sweats sat up in the bathtub. He blinked, stretching out and rubbing his eyes. He finally noticed Noir standing there. “Oh, hi.”

“Have- have you been there this entire time?”

“We- uh… I was taking a nap. It’s been a  _ long  _ night. Is the pizza here yet? ‘M starving.”

“I think it’ll be here in a few minutes. Are you alright?”

“Yeah! Who, me? It’s… fine. It’s fine. Hey- hang on, aren’t you in my photography class?”

Noir snapped his fingers, the connection hitting him. “Yeah! Eddie, right?”

“Good to meet you,” he smiled. They shook hands. “Now,” he stood up, crawling out onto the tile floor. “I’m going to go try and sneak an entire pizza into this bathroom, feel free to join me if you’d like to see a grown man roll up a large pizza like a burrito and shove it into his mouth, in one bite.”

“I’ve got some friends I’m supposed to go back to, but we’ll be in the next room over.”

“Sweet, thanks, man.”

“Not a problem.”

Noir left the bathroom and went one way while Eddie went down the stairs. The sounds coming from down there were a little worrying, however. Then when he saw Peter B barreling down the hallway chanting  _ no no no no no _ , he knew something was up. That man wouldn’t dare run unless he had a good reason. He checked the room everyone was supposed to be in, but found it empty. The window was open, a cool breeze flowing in.

He turned around and braced himself for the worst.

Every step down the staircase prompted a new horrifying sound from below, so he made quick work of it.

Chaos is the only word he could think to use.

The TV was smashed and face down on the ground. There was a circle of people on one side of the room with a pair of people fighting in the middle, and on the other side of the room there were people standing on every surface but the floor, screaming like mad men.

Eddie pushed past him and ran back upstairs, three boxes of pizza in his arms.

Noir wanted to go home. He had seen everything he needed to see.

Or so he thought, because there was a bright light and a horribly loud noise from the basement.

A hand laced its way into his, and suddenly he was being tugged through the crowd. He looked down, seeing Ham there, not looking back. 

They went through the front doors, and only then did Ham stop. 

“Car,” he said. “Let’s go, c’mon, move it!”

Noir was being  _ shoved _ now, towards the car. There were at  _ least  _ 8 people packed into the back like sardines, including MJ, who he didn’t even know had come to the party. Peni, Ganke, and Miles all sharing shotgun at once, somehow. Looking again he noticed Gwen squished into the space under the dashboard, below the seat.

Don’t try this at home, kiddos. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Somebody called the cops,” Ham stated, “and somebody set off a firework in the basement!”

He looked into the car, noticing how there  _ had _ to be more than 3 seats back there. Toon physics, he supposed. 

“Where can I sit? I’m not gonna fit in there!”

Ham opened the drivers door.

“Get in, I’ll sit on your lap and drive like that. Criss cross, let’s get movin’! No time to waste!”

Ham shoved him into the car and he awkwardly pulled his legs up onto the chair, letting Ham back up the car and swerve off onto the road.

They hadn’t been driving for 5 minutes when sure enough, a few cop cars passed them, their sirens loud and jarring, heading back where they had just left.

“Y’all wanna get McDonalds? We should get McDonalds,” Ham announced, changing lanes. “What does everyone want? My treat!”   
“Both of my legs are asleep,” Ganke commented.

The group of them all started calling out random foods, Ham apologized profusely to the McDonalds employee who was working the drive through, and in the end, Noir did not have even  _ one _ moment of peace from the vivid memory of Ham kissing him. In fact, he was psyching himself up to act on a bad idea most of the way home!

Getting all the people out of the car took some work, and somehow, during the process, Peter B ended up landing flat on his back with Mary Jane on top of him.

“Oh-”

“Sorry, lemme just-”

She rolled off of him and dusted herself off, helping him up. Ham knew the look on his face all too well, eyes wide and starry. Oh boy.

While they had their moment, Ham noticed Noir sitting on the hood of the car, drinking his coffee, illuminated by moonlight alone. It was weird seeing him without that coat billowing out around him. He looked smaller, more strange. Ethereal, even as the steam from his cup curled around his face and fogged up his glasses. He had some stubble, and 

“So you’re Pete’s roommate, huh?”

He jumped a good foot and a half into the air, stumbling back. MJ stood next to him with her hands in her jacket pockets. “Yeah, yeah. He’s not half bad when he ain’t bein’ a great big stick in the mud.”

She laughed and shifted her stance to her other leg, crossing her arms. “I see why he likes you. You’re cool.”

He grinned. “Aw, he really said that about little old me?”

“No, not a chance. But I can tell it’s true by how he looks at you.”

“And how’s that, miss?”

She snorted, covering her mouth with her hand. “Like he doesn’t wanna hit you.”

“High praise,” Ham put a hand to his chest.

“Coming from him? It really is, Ham,” she ran a hand through her hair with a nostalgic smile. “He’s a big sweetheart, but he doesn’t show it the way you’d expect. Keep an eye out for the little things, alright? He’s not going to go right out and talk about how he feels.”

“Yeah, I figured that much. Any tips for caring and keeping from an expert?” He winked up at her. She bit her lip as she thought of a response.

“Just… Don’t hurt him. Don’t lie to him, and don’t try to keep secrets from him. He’s smarter than he looks and if you want him to trust you, you've gotta put just as much trust in him, y’know?”

He paused, and nodded. “I get it… so, you and the other Peter, huh?”

She coughed into her hand. “He- he’s nice. I’d like to get to know him better.”

“Hey, anything to get him to shave for once. I’m gonna go check on tall dark and handsome over there. Try to convince him maybe drinking coffee at 2 in the morning isn’t a good idea. You alright to walk back to your dorm on your own?”

“Yeah, I’m good. See you around, Hammy!”

“See ya!”

They went in opposite directions, Ham towards the pool of shadow Noir was resting in, sitting on the curb next to him. 

The entire vibe changed, and he picked up on a million details at once. The sound of bugs chirping in the distance, of cars. The way the air near Noir was colder, but the closer he got the warmer he felt. 

The way Noir’s hands shook.

“You ready to go to bed?”

“Mm,” was all he supplied, standing up and dusting his slacks off. God, he was really wearing dress pants, huh? Ham couldn't keep himself from smiling, and Noir gave him a look. “What?”

“Just you, ‘s all.”

He looked at Ham a while longer, trying to figure out what to make of the comment before deciding to forget it. He held the door open for Ham as they walked into their hall, Ham looking up at him as they went in.

_ Notice the little things _ , MJ had said. Ham would remember that.

“You alright?” Noir squinted behind his glasses. 

“Hm? Yeah, why do you ask?”

“No reason.”

They walked in silence until they got to their dorm, Noir unlocking the door.

“You really shouldn’t be drinking coffee this late,” Ham commented. Noir looked at him and pouted, popping the lid off and downing the rest in one go. Ham gasped in indignation, and Noir smiled.

He sat on the side of his bed while Ham jumped onto his own, bouncing in place and looking at Noir.

“So, did you have fun?”

Noir thought for a moment. “I did. Not bad for my first party.”

Ham jumped across the gap between their beds, landing on Noir’s and sitting down. “Really? You mean it? You had fun? Even when you hurt your hand?”

Noir’s ears got dark. He coughed. “Yeah. Yeah, even then.”

There was a pause, where electricity filled the space between them. Noir cleared his throat a little bit too loudly.

“I, uh… I think I burnt my hand on the coffee, though. Some of it spilled on me while we were driving and it still hurts,” Noir said (lied). His voice was low, like it was a secret.

“Oh? Mcdonalds, am I right? Always keepin’ their drinks at unsafe temperatures,” Ham mumbled, scooting closer. He slid his hands under Noir’s, noting the tears in the palm of his glove. “May I?”

Noir nodded, clearly tense. Ham pulled the glove off, and Noir couldn’t tell if he was going slower than he needed to or if he was just lost in the moment.

His hand was still warm from the coffee cup. Ham shifted, pushing his sleeve back, noticing the way Noir took a quick, sharp breath as he pressed a kiss to the space where his wrist met the rest of his hand. He looked up at Noir, trying his best to keep his composure as he moved to kiss his palm, not breaking contact between kisses. 

Noir forced himself to relax, ending up cupping Ham’s cheek while he simply stayed still, lips against his skin, not pressing or moving. Ham’s eyes were closed, and he was serene in a way Noir wasn’t prepared for.

Ham opened one eye to look at Noir, but Noir moved his hand up to brush through the tuft of hair on top of his head and it fell shut again. Noir continued, scratching lightly and smiling when Ham climbed up into his lap and pushed him until he was laying down. “Nighty night… ’m sleepin’ here.”

Noir chuckled. “Let me put on my pajamas first?”

“I  _ guess _ …”

He set Ham on his pillow and got up, and the next thing Ham knew Noir was in an old t-shirt and shorts, sitting back on the edge of the bed. Ham stuck his arms up, opening and closing his hands.

After a moment of confusion, Noir picked him up and curled up under the blankets, cuddling close to him, one of Noir’s hands on his chest and his other arm tucked under his head like a pillow. 

“You alright?”

“Yeah,” Ham replied. “I am...”

They fell asleep like that, taking in eachother's warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, please comment!! im taking $5 1.5k word oneshot commissions for these two also, so message me on discord at universecharm#1487 if you're interested in that!!


	7. One Good Movie Kiss

The following day, Ham woke up to find Noir still curled up around him, his warmth seeping into him like sunlight but warmer. Apparently the night before had done quite a toll on him, which wasn’t surprising. He’d probably end up sleeping for another half hour, at the very least. 

The sight of Noir sleeping always made Ham feel like he should look away, but he always found himself unable to. It felt like he was shoplifting- like he would get caught and have to explain himself. In the same breath, he felt like he would find some kind of answer to a question he hadn’t thought to ask, hidden in the way Noir’s pale cheek squished against his arm, in the way his features softened and his eyelashes fell against his cheeks.

Ham just laid there, happily taking in the view until Noir woke up.

Noir grunted and blinked wearily, adjusting to the low light filtering in through the window and startling Ham out of his thoughts. Ham half expected him to jump back the way he had last time, but…

He smiled,  _ far _ too honest and  _ far _ too handsome for Ham’s weak heart. 

“G’mornin’,” he whispered, his voice still gravelly and low from sleep. Ham took a moment to respond.

“Mornin’...”

“You’re up early.”

Ham shrugged. “I would’ve slept longer but my pillow kept snoring.”

Noir’s lip twitched and he rolled his eyes. “I don’t snore.”

“Uh, yeah you do. Like a  _ train _ .” 

“At least I don’t do that weird little whistle thing when I snore!”

“So, you admit that you sn- mmph!”

Noir covered his face with his hand, Ham’s snout poking out between his fingers. Ham pulled his hand back and stuck his tongue out at him. 

Noir has this barely restrained smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye that left Ham breathless once again. “Shush.”

And Ham, known for his wit, found himself at a total loss for words, left only to grin uncontrollably and place his own hands over Noir’s in a display that felt sickeningly intimate, even for him. 

Noir left him laying there as he got up to put his glasses and clothes on for the day. Ham, in a moment of weakness, rolled into the warm space Noir left on the mattress, wrapping himself in the blankets as tightly as possible. When Noir came back out, he was mostly dressed aside from his uniform shirt still being unbuttoned and untucked. He had some kind of tank top on underneath it. He smiled upon seeing Ham, the lenses of his glasses glinting at him. 

“You comfortable down there, Hammy?”

“Yes, very much so. Thank you  _ so _ much for asking.”

“Why do you even have a separate bed if you’re always gonna steal mine?” Noir mused aloud, sitting on the mattress and buttoning up his shirt. 

“I mean, we  _ could  _ push them together and make one big bed.”

Noir blinked and his hands fumbled with the buttons. “We can’t just-...”

“Hey, it was just an idea! We don’t have to. I’m just sayin’ there’s nothing stopping us.”

He thought for a moment, then stood up. “Sure. Let’s do it- I’ve got time.”

“Wait, seriously? You actually want to?”

Noir shrugged, but Ham was already on the other side of the room, scrambling across the gap between their beds at a speed that left a pig-shaped dust cloud in his wake. Noir watched him struggle to push the bed, not making even an inch of ground. He leaned over him.

“How can you  _ not _ move the bed? I’ve seen you pick up and carry things heavier than that before.”

Ham grunted and turned around, trying to push it harder to no avail. He stopped, panting, slumped against it. 

“Rule of funny,” was all he said. 

“Come again now?”

Ham wiped the sweat off his forehead. “I was half a second too late for it to be funny for me to push the bed over in one go, therefore, I need help with it. I can’t do it if it isn’t funny, ‘s toon rules.”

“That’s- what? How does…?”

Ham shrugged. “Watch, try to push the bed. It’ll be ten times lighter than normal.”

Noir rolled his eyes, but pushed the bed. It completely gave under his weight, sliding across the floor so fast that he landed chest-down on the ground, the wind knocked out of him.

Ham patted his head, snorting and giggling to himself. “Can’t say I didn’t warn ya, buddy!”

“Can it, Porker,” he groaned, rolling onto his back and gingerly pressing on his ribs to check the damage. Nothing broken, but something probably bruised. 

“Jeez, you alright? I forgot how fragile you humans are,” Ham said, pushing down on his ribs a little as well to feel for breaks. “Need a hand?”

(Noir’s brain happily supplied a solution to the pain in his chest, remembering the events of the night before all too fast, but the  _ implications _ of that left him shaky, his brain refusing to focus on the idea.)

“I’m alright,” he lied, sitting up and stretching out. His back popped and Ham winced. 

“Well, if you insist. Can’t say I didn’t warn ya!” He climbed up on top of the bed, bouncing on the mattress. “C’mon, let’s break this thing in properly!”

“You wanna do  _ what _ ?”

“Jump on the bed with me!”

Noir blinked incredulously. “We’re adults. You do know that, yeah? It’ll break.”

He was hit in the face with a pillow, a few little symbols crashing out from the impact. “It’s not gonna break! Now come be a man and jump on this bed with me!”

Noir couldn't help but laugh, sitting himself on the bed while Ham pulled him up to a standing position.

(Ham was still absolutely astounded by how he sounded when he laughed, rich and deep and gold. It made his whole body warm and made his stomach all fluttery, knowing he could cause that.)

Ham was bouncing high enough to make eye contact with Noir at the height of each bounce, making a different goofy expression each time, bringing a bigger smile to Noir’s face with each bounce.

And then, Noir started to bounce too.

Ham’s whole face lit up and he went higher, higher. They went in time with each other, giggling like teenagers, hardly aware of anything outside of the other’s smile and the warmth blooming between them.

He looked at Noir, noticing that his glasses had slid up his face and were resting crooked on his forehead and his cheeks were dark and, well, he looked adorable with that smile on his face.

Ham was never really the type for restraint, or ignoring his instincts, and in that moment, every ounce of his being was screaming  _ kiss him, you idiot! _

And on their next jump, he grabbed Noir by the collar and pressed their lips together.

For a moment, the universe closed down, leaving only the two of them suspended in a sea of giddy happiness and okay, maybe this wasn’t what Ham was expecting, or hoping for, because instead of staying still, Noir was kissing him  _ back _ ! 

This was so much  _ better _ !

They were hung in the air like stars, probably because of toon physics, but neither of them could really find it in their heads to care about anything other than the way the other felt against them. Noir had his hand on the back of Ham’s head and was tilting his head to kiss him better and Ham was absolutely dizzy with the muted icy feeling of mouthwash and the feeling of Noir touching him. His cheeks were scratchy with stubble and sticky with water from washing his face a few minutes before and Ham was happily drinking in every bit of it, every sensory detail engraved into his memory.

Then they pulled back, looking into each other’s eyes, until Noir blinked.

Then, gravity kicked in and yanked them back down to earth.

And with a worrying  _ crack! _ , the frame of the bed broke beneath them.

-

Noir wasn’t really aware of anything that was going on other than warm lips against his own.

He didn’t want to stop kissing Ham, though, because he knew once he did something bad would happen. He’d have to address that this was all real, that he had actually made that jump and there was no way to undo it. 

No going back now, might as well go all out with it.

He was vaguely aware that this was probably pretty good as far as first kisses go- or at least he hoped so. He felt very good, which he hoped was a good sign.

(This was his first kiss, oh, God-)

Well, the bed was sure broken. The part of it holding the mattress up had snapped clean in half with a little puff of dust, and the both of them were left absentmindedly bouncing in place while they attempted to hatch out a plan to fix it, all while desperately trying to avoid thinking about the fact that they had just  _ kissed  _ on the _ lips _ . 

(It sure had felt good though-)

And they looked up, at the same time, and their eyes met-

_ Oh God that actually happened- _

And they both burst out laughing, Noir covering his mouth with his hands when he snorted, his face flushed and eyes more full of joy than Ham had ever seen. Then he fixed his glasses and cleared his throat.

“...We broke it.”

“So we did.”

“You said-”

And just like that, he was being kissed again. 

This was new. New and good. New and amazing, actually. He could really get used to this- to the fluttery feeling in his stomach taking over his senses.

Ham pulled back with a gobsmacked look on his face, loving how Noir looked happy and dizzy and, well, kissed. Ham put two hands on the bottom of his jaw, pushing his mouth shut.

“You, uh… You good there, buddy?”

Noir fumbled for a response, scratching the back of his neck as he came back to himself, the reality of the situation setting in like cement in his stomach. His smile dropped. “I- you… you kissed me.”

“I did do that, yes,” Ham said, as if he were being questioned for a crime.

“Twice.”

“Mhmm.”

Ham wasn’t really paying attention at this point, mostly allowing himself to sit back and just enjoy watching Noir’s cheeks get darker under his hands the longer the conversation went on.

“Why?”

He shrugged, refusing to make eye contact. “Because I felt like it?”

Noir seemed scandalized by this. “You can’t just- I- I don’t-”

“Why are you making such a big deal out of this? I won’t do it again if it upset you this much, geez.”

Noir opened and closed his mouth, trying to think of a way to respond. Ham stared up at him.

“No, I-”

_ Beep beep beep beep-  _

_ “Shit, _ ” Noir remarked, grabbing his backpack and heading for the door. “This conversation is  _ not  _ over.”

“Aww… Where’re ya goin’?”

“Class! I’ll-” He groaned, deflating. “I’ll be back tonight.”

“...Okay. Love ya!”

Noir breathed in slowly and sighed, looking back at Ham with what could only be described as relief. “Love ya too.”

And he left, quiet seeping into the room like black ink from the walls.

-

Noir knew he wouldn’t be able to focus in class, but he went anyway. He forced himself to take notes and to listen, and managed to retain a little information.

It was hard when his brain was a constant rush of  _ he kissed me he kissed me he kissed me he kissed me _ !

He went between classes in a quiet daze, thinking over everything that happened. 

Ham had said he wouldn’t do it again, but that was the problem. He wanted it to happen again, and the idea of that filled him with a burst of excitement followed immediately by a strange sick feeling.

The day seemed to somehow drag on infinitely while also going by far too fast.

-

Ham didn’t have any classes until noon, and he thought he might go insane from waiting. 

_ That wasn’t supposed to happen. _

It was supposed to be a gag kiss- it was supposed to be a  _ goof _ , for  _ fun _ . 

For toons like Ham, there were two kinds of kisses. There was a gag kiss, for jokes! A harmless expression of affection, a way to throw someone off guard. It meant the same as a high five or a hug or a slap, a simple gesture of physical contact that meant different things based on context. It had no effects, other than  _ maybe _ startling the other person as part of the gag.

Then, there was a Kiss, capital K. A  _ Kiss  _ meant fireworks and hearts and  _ true love _ and everything that Ham hadn’t been expecting.

(Some part of him deep down had completely expected it, really, but he had been trying  _ so  _ hard to ignore it!)

It took all of his self control not to faint right then and there once he realized what was happening. Once he felt his brain go to mush and had that soft warm feeling overtake him. 

Did he mean to kiss him a second time? Yes. He needed to make sure it wasn’t a fluke, but it wasn’t. It was fireworks and butterflies and hearts and rainbows and everything that he had ever been told that kissing your  _ special someone _ was supposed to feel like.

Christ, was he really  _ really _ in love with Noir?

He thought it over, and he decided he was going to say no. Not because he had any proof, but because he didn’t want to think about it. Confronting this issue meant changing things, and he didn’t want to change things. It was too much effort.

He decided to skip his class, texting Upton to write his name on the sign in sheet so it looked like he was actually there.

He spent the entire day cleaning their dorm, picking things up, spreading his decorations out a little bit so it felt less like there was a line down the middle of the room. He flattened their blankets out, he hung up all his clothes…

Then he got bored and spent 10 minutes just laying under the beds reading his own diary, going over the daily entries for a sign that he had feelings for his roommate.

(Then again, a quarter of the things he wrote were just made up so it sounded more interesting. He wasn’t really sure why he did that.)

But of course, every other entry was about Noir, and what he had done that day, and what Ham had done with him that day, and gosh, was it sad. Eventually he closed the diary and hid it back under his mattress where it belonged, finding another bag under the bed. 

This one was a plastic shopping bag, and upon further inspection, ithad a poster in it, and when Ham unrolled it…

Oh.

It was a poster from one of his older shows, back when he played a superhero.  _ The Amazing Spider-Ham. _ Noir must have bought it at some point.

He smiled and stuck it up on the wall above their bed, right as there was a knock at the door. He threw himself off the chair he was balancing on, scrambling to the door, expecting Noir to be standing there when-

“Oh, hey, it’s you!”

Miles smiled and nodded in greeting, hands in his hoodie pockets. “Yeah, hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, kid! Go for it!”

“You helped with the old Spider-Ham comics, right? I know you played him and all, but…”

“Yeah, what of it?”

Miles looked into the room as an attempt to avoid eye contact, noticing the two beds pushed together. He blinked and nodded to himself. 

“Uh- I was wondering if you had any extra copies of them? Ganke- my uh… My boyfriend. He collects old comics, and he said he didn’t have any copies of yours. I wanted to do something nice for him.”

Ham felt his heart soften. “Yeah, yeah, I’ve got a few in here somewhere. Come on in.”

Miles’ whole face lit up and he stuck his hands further into his pockets, rocking back onto his heels as he walked into the dorm.

“Nice place.”

“Thanks! Spent all day moving things around. Been a bit antsy lately,” Ham prattled on as he dug through his bag in the bottom of the closet, tossing out an assortment of items. Magazines, a bottle of champagne, a kitchen sink, a mallet…

“Ah! Here we are! Fresh copies, all the way back from ‘85 and ‘86!”

He placed the plastic wrapped comics into Miles’ hands. After a moment, he placed the mallet on top. “Keep this too. Just in case.”

“Uh… Okay? Thanks so much, Mr. Porker!”

“Call me Ham, kid! See ya ‘round!”

“See ya,” Miles said as he headed out. “Oof- sorry!’

“It’s alright,” said Noir, from behind the door. Ham froze, scrambling to pick up all the junk he had thrown around the room, shoving it all in the bottom of the closet as fast as he possibly could. When he looked up, Noir was leaning against the doorframe, covering his smile with one hand. Ham leaned against the closet doors, even as they strained against the weight of all the stuff behind them. With one last  _ kick _ they managed to stay shut. 

“Hi. Welcome home!”

And Noir laughed and looked at him like he  _ was  _ home, and Ham knew he had wasted the entire day trying to convince himself of a lie. 

“So…” Noir pushed the door shut with his foot, and Ham realized he was holding two cups in his hands. “I got you a smoothie. I got one banana and one strawberry because I… wasn’t sure what you’d like.”

Ham slid down until he hit the ground. 

“Banana’ll do nicely. It’s a favorite.”

Noir sighed in relief and sat down against the closet door, passing him one of the cups. 

“Time to talk?”

“I s’pose it is.”

“...Sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier. It really wasn’t what I was goin’ for, I-”

“No, it was… fine,” Noir said, choosing his words carefully. “It was just an impulse thing, right?”

Ham scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, somethin’ like that. Look, Pete, I-...”

Noir stared at him, waiting for him to finish.

“Do… Do you wanna just pretend it didn’t happen?”

“Sure,” Noir lied.

“Fine by me,” Ham also lied.

They shook hands and went back to drinking their smoothies.

-

That’d be the 16th time Ham had kissed him since they had met. Yes, he had been counting. No, it hadn’t been helping. 

1 kiss on the cheek.

13 kisses to his hands.

2 kisses on the lips.

Noir mused that he should have been an actuary.

-

After a few minutes, Noir got up and sat at his desk, spreading his homework out over it and getting started. He had 2 essays and a 15 page research paper due that week. 

Ham noticed that he always bit down on the inside of his cheeks when he focused. That he chewed on the ends of pens, but not pencils. That he would write and write and write for a while, then stop, go back, change something, and stare at the page for far too long. 

Ham got out a book and pretended to read, staring at Noir as he worked.

-

Noir passed out at his desk at around 11:43 PM, but who was keeping track? (Ham was keeping track.)

Carrying a 5’10 adult man should have been difficult, but not for a cartoon pig with spider powers. 

Okay, maybe it was a  _ little _ hard. But Noir didn’t have to know that. All he needed was a horizontal surface to sleep on, and he would thank Ham for moving him in the morning.

He caught a glimpse of Noir’s notes, smiling at the little doodles of him in the corners of the page.

He looked back at Noir’s body, strewn across the bed, his chest rising and falling under the blanket Ham had tucked him in under…

His heart picked up, and he punched himself in the chest.

No time for that, now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gfnghnghn comments... i need them.............  
> i shaved my head and then wrote this chapter god bless

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE comment if you wanna see more!! i love reading everyones comments its what makes me wanna keep writing!!! my tumblr is @universecharm !!
> 
>  
> 
> and if you wanna contribute to my work, consider giving me a tip!! i, like spiderman, am a broke kid who just wants to make people happy!  
> https://www.paypal.me/CarinaMartin


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